"First Thoughts" by Lisa Brune

This was written by Lisa, she dated it 9/11-9/12  -- approximately one month before she died.

We meet as strangers but once, each carrying our own mystery within us.  We cannot say who you are.  We may never know you completely.  But we trust that you are a person in your own right, a Child of God possessed of a beauty and value that are the richest treasures of the universe.  So we make this promise to you: We will impose no identities upon you, but we will invite you to become yourself without shame or fear.  We will hold open a space for you in the world and allow your right to fill it with authentic passion and purpose.  For as long as your search takes, you have our loyalty.
Namaste

From "Men's Health" - Lessons in Fatherhood

http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/get-out-my-room?cm_mmc=Yahoo_Blog-_-Health-_-9_Strange_But_True_Health_Tips-_-Get_Out_Of_My_Room

Father, oh father, why are you so mad?
I’m just a little kid—I’m not trying to be bad

Yet every night, you cuss under your breath
It’s almost as if you think that I’m deaf

Yes, I get it, your life has so changed
But that’s no reason to start acting deranged

1 out of 3 kids doesn't live with a dad
Now I know why—some fathers are pathetic and sad

I know you welcomed me into your life
After carefree coitus with your career-minded wife

Now you're both exhausted and seem only to argue
Is it my fault? Really, what should I do?

Here’s an idea: Relax and have a beer
And let me solve our little problem by being the man here

Did you know that I’ll fall asleep 40 percent faster
If you create a bedtime routine that I can master?

Didn’t think so, and there’s another benefit I’ll cite
With a routine, I’ll sleep an extra hour each night

And if I shut my eyes nightly for 10 hours of peace
Research shows I’m much less likely to wind up obese

Experts also say you should read to me 30 minutes a pop
Yet after just one little book you can't wait to stop

If it bores you that much, I’ll give you a tip
Just make it up, the words you can skip

This all boosts my vocabulary and word knowledge
Which someday may help me score a scholarship to college

Now let’s talk about when I want to color and swing
Why is it you can’t stop all that goddamned texting?

The brainiacs say if you pay attention to me
I’m likely to be less violent when I hit puberty

Yet you don’t quite grasp the concept of play, I infer
Maybe I should tell Mom what’s on your web browser

If you want me to stop crying, then let’s lose the ’tude
And go outside—studies say exercise improves my mood

Please straighten up, Dad, and get your head out of your ass
My young and innocent years just aren’t going to last

I can’t take care of myself, so I must look to you
Now man up and sack up—you know what to do

Give me a kiss and bid me “Good night!”
And think about how you can make this thing right

’Cuz if forever you’re going to be chock-full of gloom
You’d might as well just get the f**k out of my room

Words by Eric Adams, Steve Belanger, Adam Campbell, and Bill Phillips
  
My thanks to Lisa Newburn for her posting on Facebook! 

Untitled

Above it all for a while
Untouchable and safe
We move together in elements
That typify this mood

No one can see us
Not that we care

I don't explain anything
No need to share

Our journey has just begun

-Lisa (Small) Brune -1996

The Traveler By James Dillet Freeman

She has put on invisibility.
Dear Lord, I cannot see—
But this I know, although the road
    ascends
And passes from my sight,
That there will be no night;
That You will take her gently by the
    hand
And lead her on
Along the road of life that never ends,
And she will find it is not death but
    dawn.
I do not doubt that You are there as
    here,
And You will hold her dear.

Our life did not begin with birth,
It is not of the earth;
And this that we call death, it is no
    more
Than the opening and closing of a
    door—
And in Your house how many rooms
    must be
Beyond this one where we rest
    momently.

Dear Lord, I thank You for the faith
    that frees,
The love that knows it cannot lose its
    own;
The love that, looking through the
    shadows, sees
That You and she and I are ever one!

This I Believe - by: Jayson R. Brune

This I believe.

I believe that life isn't always fair, but you always have to keep moving forward.  Life is not always happy or sad.  It is not always good or always evil.  The world is a happy and sad place.  Quite like the story I am about to tell right now.

It was a cool, crisp morning around 5:00am and out of nowhere I heard a strange sound.  I think it was the scariest noise ever.  I called from my bed, "Dad!  What's that noise?"  He replied, "It's just your mom snoring."  I shouted, "Okay," down the hall and tried to fall back asleep.

Then the noise got louder and no longer sounded like her usual snoring.  My mom was unresponsive so my dad, in a panicky voice, yelled, "Call 911!"  I rushed to the phone.  I was so nervous and scared I could hardly hear the operator on the the other end.  I ran to my dad and handed him the phone.

About four or five minutes later a fire truck and an ambulance arrived at our house.  The men actually fit a stretcher in the door of my house.  There was a lot of commotion and I did not really understand what was going on.  Then some of my neighbors came over and one of them took my sisters and I over to her house.  This was a school morning and it happened at 5:00am.

We came back home around 7:00am and everyone was there - aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors.  Everyone was crying and when I saw them, I started crying too.  We did not go to school that day.  My mom died at the hospital.

I felt like life was not fair that day.  My mom had died and my siblings and I always believed that she would live until she was old.  It was the saddest day ever.  While I am still grieving the death of my mother, I have learned that not everyone lives until they are old.  For some reason, whether it is disease, an accident or some other event, some people are taken from us before we are ready.  I believe that life is not always fair, but you always must keep moving forward.

This I believe.

Still here

You were wondering weren't you?  I'm still here.


I'm still here
I'm still the same
I'm still sad
I'm still confused
I'm still on a one way street... moving slowly... ahead...
I'm still alive
I'm still breathing... haven't taken a breath...
I'm still...
Yep, that's it...
I'm still.

Gone To Sleep

New favorite song!  I feel like maybe Moby and Kelli Scarr were channeling my thoughts when they wrote this song together.  This one will be a favorite forever with me!  Every word conveys my feelings at this time in my life, now, seven months after Lisa, my "sun" has gone my "light", has "gone to sleep".

Follow this link and watch the second or third video first - after you see the goofy photograph of the guy with a cloud in place of his head.  You can follow along with the lyrics below too:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126476733

Thin light - escape
We've run fast and we wait
All the time we waste
All the days replaced


Somewhere there's a Sunday in the Fall
Where everything you love is safe and warm
Where everything was right
But I'm never going home... (2x)


Thin light is long
The life I knew is gone
It's nothing that I've ever seen
Darker than it's ever been


Somewhere there's a Sunday in the Fall
Where everything you love is safe and warm
Where everything was right
But I'm never going home...
-repeat

But I'm never going home...


All the time we wait
All the time we waste

All the days replaced (2x)


Somewhere there's a Sunday in the Fall
Where everything you love is safe and warm
Where everything was right
But I'm never going home...
-repeat

The sun is down
The lights have gone to sleep
I never knew the dark would be so deep
Somewhere you are warm

But I'm never going home..

Now watch the first video which tells about the creation and inspiration for the song.  Then read again my comments below.
...  ...  ...
I feel like the guy in the photograph that inspired the song too!  My head is a storm cloud of anger, confusion, you name it...  The briefcase to me represents the rest of me, mostly my work.  The trench coat and gloves are keeping my emotions, thoughts, feelings inside while at the same time preventing the outside world from intruding...  keeping more hurt from entering.  Fall in the foreground and middle-ground forest represents the end of a chapter in my life, but I see Spring in the background - through the trees.

I didn't recognize any of this at first listen and first glance!  The first time I listened to the song, I really liked the music, but I thought the lead vocalist's voice was too raw and uneven.  Too pitchy if that makes sense.  Then I really listened to the words and found the connection I could make to them.

I had similar feelings for the photograph.  I had seen the photograph many years ago and I thought it looked contrived and silly.  The cloud looks too obviously "Photoshopped" in.  And again I found more meaning in it's content as I looked at it again.  I didn't find hardly any of the meaning until I was simultaneously looking at the photograph and typing my thoughts about it in the paragraph above.