Don't get me wrong... I'm not suicidal.
But...
I want Freedom From This Pain.
I want to be able to Live The Dreams We Had with Lisa By My Side.
I want Clarity of Thought.
I want Peace of Mind.
I want Limitless Love.
I want Connection.
I want Reunion.
I want More, Brighter Light.
I want Rest.
I want What I Had.
I want My Love-Space Refilled.
I want Togetherness.
I want Unity.
I want Pure Joy.
I want To Move On, Now.
I want To Release The Guilt.
But...
I've got Jayson - Lover, Protector, Old Soul, The Most Awesome Boy On Earth!, Mommy's Boy (not Mama's boy), and Confused.
I've got Taysha - Peacemaker, Comedienne, A Beauty, Intuitive, and Hiding From Her Feelings.
I've got Maya - Beautiful, Daddy's Girl, Warm, Honest, Observer, and Angry
I've got Many Incredible Families Supporting me, Showing Their Love, Trying to Understand.
I've got Many Incredible Friends Showing Their Love, Supporting me, Trying to Understand.
I've got Love All Around Me.
I've got Beautiful Memories Of Being Loved.
I've got More Quality Love Than Many People Have.
But...
I want Everything I Can't Have!
But...
I've got Everything I Truly Need!
But...
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Believe it or not, Jay, you appear to have Clarity of Thought. Just know you are loved, on Earth and in Heaven and keep taking those baby steps.
ReplyDeleteJust discovered your blog Jay! I love your honesty and ability to express your feelings. Writing is such a healing process; at least for me. I'm glad you are blogging.
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