Going 35 in a 65

Call me Goodyear, no it hasn't been that... Call me Michelin - I'm tired!  Too much thinking - overthinking.  Too much still to do, too much left undone, too much to remember, too much forgotten, too much noise in my head.  Too much running from place to place, too much dependence on others' help, too much wanting to just lie around, too much lying around, too much stuff, too much disorganization, too much  to re-organize.  Too much guilt.  Too much negative self-talk.

At work I feel like a liability.  I feel like I'm pulling the studio down.  I feel like I've already pulled the studio too far down.  Too much menial work that leaves no time for the important work.  Everything is needed to be done yesterday, but the tools necessary aren't available until tomorrow.  No time tomorrow to get it done.


I can't let myself look forward and it's too painful to look back.  The next goals are too far away, too far in the future to look toward.  Too much risk of failure and letdown again before I can allow myself to become enthusiastic about possibly reaching those goals.


My car will only allow me to go 35 miles per hour in a 65 mile per hour world!  I've torn off my rear view mirror and my windshield is fogged over.  All I've got, all I can let myself see is the view to the sides.

I need a new mirror and some washer fluid...